My name is Matilda, but my friends call me Tilly. I am a photographer, very single (and very available) and I am waiting for my Prince to sweep me off my feet and I wish he would hurry up because I'm tired of kissing frogs. I live in a very large beach condo with two roomies. I just open the door and I'm on the beach. This is a very interesting place. Read further down the page and you will find out why. Life is good in this part of Australia. LOL! Why is this site called DearTilly.com? This site was originally my personal site and an advice blog similar to Dear Abby. I got bored with the blog and I stopped doing it.
This particular page is my personal homepage, but if you want to see some gorgeous Aussie girls and you are over 18 or 21 years of age, depending on where you live, click on the picture below and visit the fun part of my web site. Otherwise, keep reading this page and you will learn a little more about me. Also, I have added a few humourous things about this crazy world we live in.
Because my name is Matilda people are constantly asking me about our unofficial National Anthem. Waltzing Matilda is, briefly, a song about a tramp who camps by a creek and steals a sheep. Three policemen arrive; rather than submit to capture, the tramp commits suicide by drowning himself in the creek. I should mention that at the time the penalty for stealing sheep (and lots of other things) was "hanging by the neck until dead". So, committing suicide wasn't as drastic as it might seem.
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Once a jolly swagman sat beside the billabong, Under the shade of a coulibah tree, And he sang as he sat and waited till his billy boiled:
Chorus:
2. Down came a jumbuck to drink beside the billabong
Chorus:
3. Down came the stockman, riding on his thoroughbred,
Chorus:
4. Up jumped the swagman and plunged into the billabong,
Chorus: |
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Billabong - Originally an aboriginal word for a section of still water adjacent to a river, cut off by
a change in the watercourse, cf. an oxbow lake. In the Australian outback, a billabong
generally retains water longer than the watercourse itself, so it may be the only water
for miles around. |
Waltzing Matilda was written by a young Sydney solicitor and poet by the name of Andrew Barton Paterson in 1893, who at the time was writing under the pen name of "The Banjo". Born near Orange (NSW) on a station which was owned and later managed by his father, Paterson was educated at Sydney Grammar School. He qualified as a solicitor but his adult life was divided between legal practice, journalism, and pastoral pursuits. It was during a shearing strike that a sequence of events took place that culminated in "The Banjo" writing a song that is now known throughout the world and forever stamped in the psyche of all Australians. This most absorbing and intriguing story of our national song with it's unique blend of violence; union strikes; secret meetings in the dead of night; absentee landlords; suicide; fire; music; outback settings; class struggle; and a fascinating love affair, will, once exposed, forever excite the imagination of the public. And, when taken into context in its entirety, may well explain just why Waltzing Matilda makes us feel the way it does.
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12. Men are like Laxatives. They irritate the crap out of you.
Men are like Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are.
Men are like Weather. Nothing can be done to change them.
Men are like Blenders. You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
Men are like Chocolate Bars.They are sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
Men are like Commercials. You can't believe a word they say.
Men are like Department Stores. Their clothes are always 1/2 off!
Men are like Government Bonds. They take soooooooo long to mature.
Men are like Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like Popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
Men are like Snowstorms. You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
Men are like Lava Lamps. They are fun to look at, but not very bright.
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I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to
the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never
showed up.
She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained
professional and I was in good hands. Then she asked me, "Has your plane
arrived yet?" . . .
=================== Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old, still working fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on It saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it". For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50". The next day someone stole it. Caution ...
=================== While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the North?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."
=================== I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call centre. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call centre was open. I told him, "The number you dialled is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern Standard Time or Western Standard Time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Eastern" . . . . . .
=================== A mate and I were eating lunch in a restaurant when we overheard a woman at the next table talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive up the coast. She was saying she drove a convertible and a blonde girl sitting across from her said, "How did you get sunburned? Wasn't the car was moving?". . .
=================== My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car that's designed to to break the window if the car goes into the water. She keeps it in the trunk....
=================== My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
=================== I was hanging out with a mate when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My mate said, "Wouldn't the Chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned...
=================== While in an Italian restaurant I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. The cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces, I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.
=================== They walk among us, and what's scary is that they reproduce - and, God help us, some of them even vote! |
Why did the chicken cross the road?
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
.GEORGE W. BUSH : We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
DR. SEUSS : Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY : To die in the rain. Alone.
GRANDPA : In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
JOHN LENNON : Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2012, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ........
reboot.ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
THE CHICKEN:
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
Hi I'm Tootie Gigglebrain This isn't an ad. It's just a funny page that I made
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A good BitTorrent tracker siteMet-Art
You have to see
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"Kiss me"
"Please do not click on this link unless you are over 18 or 21 years of age, depending on where you live."
matildascully@bigpond.com.au 
