My name is Matilda, but my friends call me Tilly. I'm a photographer or I guess I should say I'm a hungry photographer, since work has been scarce lately. Ok, why are you here? My guess is that you want something for free and or you are looking for pictures of naked people. This particular page is my personal homepage, but I do have a pretty nice, at least I think it is, adult site with a lot of my friends and myself posing naked. If you want see my naked pictures, click on the picture below. Why do I have a site like that you ask? Because if I could make a decent living with my photography business, or find a husband with a good job, I would be able to pay my rent and put food on the table.
Wanna play with my boobies?
Wanna tickle my arse?
No, I'm NOT pregnant. LOL! I am 26 years old and I stand 170 cm tall and I weigh 62kg. I'm wild and crazy with a conservative side. I love to feel free and party and yet I love to have stability and love. Romance is very important and passion, there has to be a connection. I don't love just so I won't be lonely. I'm not lonely. I love being alone. I have a very soft heart, and when I love and care about something or someone, I go all out. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I don't ever intend on growing up and I love to be young and feel young. I can get dressed up, and I can dress in sweats just as easily. I love classic rock and roll, and I listen to it all the time. I love to dance! I love foreign culture. I love the passion the men express when they are from a different country! I love to be touched, and constantly told that I'm loved. I work on myself everyday, trying to figure out why I do the things I do. I play the piano and keyboards, I sing and I have written a few songs. I love adventures and spontaneity, living life to the fullest. I love to laugh until my sides hurt and sing in the car, even though it may not sound very good, lol. I love music. I also love Australia and it would take a lot to get me to leave.
I am looking for a wealthy man (I can dream can't I?) between the ages of 25-30 that is just the opposite of what I have written to describe myself. They say that opposites attract, and there is a better chance that opposites may not get bored with each other. The man I am looking for must be ready to settle down and have children. I may not get any responses to this or I might get flooded. Therefore, if I get too many responses, I can not guarantee a response for every e-mail I receive. If you think you are what I am looking for, please send me an e-mail. Include a short bio of yourself. In addition, a picture would be great. I know, I've had this ad for awhile, but I'm not going to jump in the sack and screw the brains out of just any bloke that comes along. I'm going to be choosy about who is to be the father of my children. Crimey, I don't want to get the bloody seed of Chucky! Also, I should mention that I have hardly been used and I'm almost like new! LOL!
This section of my site used to tell you a little more about where I live. I even had a picture of the place. Big mistake! I had some wierdo come to my door saying something about me being a legend on the internet and he really scared me. Except for my P.O. box, I will no longer mention anything about where I live or mention any landmarks.
Because my name is Matilda (actually it's my middle name, but it's the name I go by, but I prefer Tilly), people are constantly asking me about our unofficial National Anthem. Waltzing Matilda is, briefly, a song about a tramp who camps by a creek and steals a sheep. Three policemen arrive; rather than submit to capture, the tramp commits suicide by drowning himself in the creek. I should mention that at the time the penalty for stealing sheep (and lots of other things) was "hanging by the neck until dead". So, committing suicide wasn't as drastic as it might seem.
Waltzing Matilda to many Aussies is our good luck piece. Listening to the song has brought us many good fortunes. You don't believe me mate? See for yourself. Listen to the song before an important meeting or event in your life and it will provide you with strength and good fortune. Go ahead and try it. You will see what I mean.
The Story of Waltzing Matilda
Waltzing Matilda
Advance Australia Fair
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Once a jolly swagman sat beside the billabong, Under the shade of a coulibah tree, And he sang as he sat and waited till his billy boiled:
Chorus:
2. Down came a jumbuck to drink beside the billabong
Chorus:
3. Down came the stockman, riding on his thoroughbred,
Chorus:
4. Up jumped the swagman and plunged into the billabong,
Chorus: |
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Billabong - Originally an aboriginal word for a section of still water adjacent to a river, cut off by
a change in the watercourse, cf. an oxbow lake. In the Australian outback, a billabong
generally retains water longer than the watercourse itself, so it may be the only water
for miles around. |
Waltzing Matilda was written by a young Sydney solicitor and poet by the name of Andrew Barton Paterson in 1893, who at the time was writing under the pen name of "The Banjo". Born near Orange (NSW) on a station which was owned and later managed by his father, Paterson was educated at Sydney Grammar School. He qualified as a solicitor but his adult life was divided between legal practice, journalism, and pastoral pursuits. It was during a shearing strike that a sequence of events took place that culminated in "The Banjo" writing a song that is now known throughout the world and forever stamped in the psyche of all Australians. This most absorbing and intriguing story of our national song with it's unique blend of violence; union strikes; secret meetings in the dead of night; absentee landlords; suicide; fire; music; outback settings; class struggle; and a fascinating love affair, will, once exposed, forever excite the imagination of the public. And, when taken into context in its entirety, may well explain just why Waltzing Matilda makes us feel the way it does.
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An Alternative Cyber Version Once a password hacker sat by a terminal, Under the shade of a binary tree And he sang as he sat and waited 'til his code compiled, "You'll come a-cracking computers with me" [Chorus] "Cracking computers, hacking computers, You'll come a-cracking computers with me'' And he sang as he sat and waited 'til his code compiled, "You'll come a-cracking computers with me". Down came a user, to login to that terminal, Up sat the hacker, and watched him with glee And he sang as he saved that password in a data file, "You'll come a-cracking computers with me" In came the sysop, watching on his monitor, In came a super-user or three "Oh whose is that password, you've got in your data file? You've been a-cracking computers I see!" Up jumped the hacker, turned off his terminal. "You'll never catch me online" said he! But his code can be heard as you login to that terminal. "Who'll come a-cracking computers with me?'' |
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13. Men are like Laxatives. They irritate the crap out of you.
Men are like Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are.
Men are like Weather. Nothing can be done to change them.
Men are like Blenders. You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
Men are like Chocolate Bars.They are sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
Men are like Commercials. You can't believe a word they say.
Men are like Department Stores. Their clothes are always 1/2 off!
Men are like Government Bonds. They take soooooooo long to mature.
Men are like Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like Popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
Men are like Snowstorms. You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
Men are like Lava Lamps. They are fun to look at, but not very bright.
Men are like Parking Spots. All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
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I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to
the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never
showed up.
She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained
professional and I was in good hands. Then she asked me, "Has your plane
arrived yet?" . . .
=================== Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old, still working fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on It saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it". For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50". The next day someone stole it. Caution ...
=================== While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the North?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."
=================== I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call centre. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call centre was open. I told him, "The number you dialled is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern Standard Time or Western Standard Time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Eastern" . . . . . .
=================== A mate and I were eating lunch in a restaurant when we overheard a woman at the next table talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive up the coast. She was saying she drove a convertible and a blonde girl sitting across from her said, "How did you get sunburned? Wasn't the car was moving?". . .
=================== My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car that's designed to to break the window if the car goes into the water. She keeps it in the trunk....
=================== My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
=================== I was hanging out with a mate when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My mate said, "Wouldn't the Chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned...
=================== While in an Italian restaurant I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. The cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces, I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.
=================== They walk among us, and what's scary is that they reproduce - and, God help us, some of them even vote! |
Why did the chicken cross the road?
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
.GEORGE W. BUSH : We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
DR. SEUSS : Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY : To die in the rain. Alone.
GRANDPA : In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
JOHN LENNON : Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ........
reboot.ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL SHARPTON : Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
Hi I'm Tootie Gigglebrain This isn't an ad. It's just a funny page that I made
I haven't said it in this entire site, but I know most of you expect it from us So here it is
"G'day Mate! Come on down
and I'll put another shrimp on the barbie"Are you happy now?
I rarely recommend sites, but I do recommend these. Do yourself a favour and check these out.
Oddassy's The Max
A must see!ebay Content
Hot items that sellMatilda's Closet Peek into my closet 
` `
Nude Sale!
Pssst! Only If you are over 21
If you want an alternative to Usenet try Bit Torrent at Torrent Bully
If you don't know what Bit Torrent is, this is your chance to learn more about the cyberworld.
There's a big part of it that you are missing. I post a lot of my photo galleries there.
There are free movies, music, software, photos and a lot of other things.
Torrent Bully is a good place to start to learn about the nicer side of cyberspace.
A warning to all my friends. Be careful! The internet is not what it used to be. First it was Internet providers in Tokyo and Montreal admitting to monitoring their subscriber's surfing habits and what they download. Now it's happening in the U.K. and possibly in Germany. Want to bet they are also doing it in the United States or wherever you live? They are probably monitoring us in Australia also. Imagine how embarrassing it would be if the war on terror monitors had to arrest you for something stupid.You need a hard drive cleaner to erase all those web pages, pictures, movies, videos, E-mail and everything else you have ever viewed. Without properly cleaning your hard drive they could easily be recovered - even years later. If you download something by accident, they will find that too. Tell the authorities you didn't know what you downloaded and see if they believe you. Gosh, I will never forget that time some of the posters in the nudist newsgroup had their computers seized and were summoned to court. Windows does not make a programme that will permanently erase things. I recommend that everyone get a realiable hard drive cleaning programme. Hey, you can also use it to hide your surfing from your boss or prevent your wife from seeing what you were wanking at. LOL! Also, with a clean hardrive, you don't have to worry about passing on your legacy if you sell your computer. Also, don't forget about the technician if your pc needs a repair.
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